Ending Bed Sharing with Baby

Researchers at the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) have found that bed sharing – the practice of allowing infants to sleep in the same bed with a parent or caregiver – is increasing in the United States. Almost half of the babies in the study spent at least some time in an adult bed at night. Whether bed sharing, also called co-sleeping, is harmful or otherwise has always been hotly debated.

But one thing is for sure. The baby will eventually have to move out of her parents’ bed. Here are some suggestions to make the transition smoother.

Crib in Parents’ Room

The American Academy of Pediatrics, which strongly cautions against routine bed sharing, suggests that “a side-car arrangement” – the crib placed next to the parents’ bed – may be more comfortable. This allows the physical closeness that mothers and babies enjoy with fewer sleep interruptions.

Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution [New York: McGraw Hill. 2002)], further suggests that the rail facing the bed be removed temporarily so that mum can reach for her baby easily in the night. Another useful idea is to put mum’s scent on her baby’s crib sheet. Just roll up the sheet and sleep on it for a few days for the scent to settle in first. This may work wonderfully if the baby has always slept nestled against mum.

Moving the Crib

Once the baby has become a little familiar with this new sleep-alone arrangement, re-install the rail facing the bed and move the crib a few feet away from the bed. As long as the baby can still smell, hear and see mum if she wakes up, it's easier for her to fall back asleep. Keep moving the crib further away from the bed as time passes. After a few nights, move the crib to the baby’s room. Use a baby monitor so that the baby can be attended to quickly if she wakes and cries. Continue for a few nights and she will be confident that mum is always accessible, letting her sleep alone peacefully longer.

Additional Mattress in Parents’ Room

Another approach is to put a mattress on the floor next to the parents’ bed. Get the baby to sleep on the mattress first. Then, mum and dad sleep in the big bed. If the baby wakes up, soothe her back to sleep on the mattress. Then mum climbs back up to her own bed. When the baby is more settled after a few nights, transfer the mattress to the baby’s room. A few nights later, move her from the mattress into her crib.

Sleeping in Baby’s Room first

Instead of doing the usual bed-time routine in the parents’ room, try doing it in the baby’s room. Put a mattress next to the crib. Once the baby has dozed of in the crib, mum sleeps on the mattress. For the first few nights, it’s a good idea to stay in the baby’s room all night long. This will help the baby get used to the change more easily. After those few nights, mum can go back to her own room once the baby has fallen asleep. If the baby has a favorite toy, she can leave it in the spot that she occupied earlier. Also, turn the baby monitor on.

The approaches suggested here – placing the crib in the parents’ room; slowly moving the crib away from the parents’ bed to the baby’s room; letting the baby sleep on a separate mattress in the parents’ room first, as well as having mum sleep in baby’s room first – all stress a gradual transition that helps the baby sleep on her own. There will be loud protests in the beginning but it’s worth trying these methods out.

Reference:

American Academy of Pediatrics. Guide to your Child’s Sleep. New York: Villard,1999

Gradually End Bed Sharing with Baby

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